Charming. Suave. Muscular. Awesome. These are just a few of the words that Strong Bad would use to describe himself. In a world gone mad, only one man can be trusted to save the day... for himself. A man with a mask. And boxing gloves. And an attitude. A man called Strong Bad.
Five episodes, coming to WiiWare and PC this Summer!
Homestar Runner Figurines Series #1
The whole crew from SBCG4AP, in three awesome dimensions. It's not cl...
The whole crew from SBCG4AP, in three awesome dimensions. It's not cl...
Strong Bad Emails DVD Set
3-disc set containing the first 100 Strong Bad emails, Easter eggs, a...
3-disc set containing the first 100 Strong Bad emails, Easter eggs, a...
Strong Bad Sings CD
Contains extended versions of your favorite Strong Bad hits. 20 track...
Contains extended versions of your favorite Strong Bad hits. 20 track...
Um...here's an email I got from Videlectrix:
Dear Strong,
Greetings from the best graphics in the world. We aren't sure where else to go with this issue so we thought we'd go straight to the source (files. HA!).
We've been having some serious problems with Mr. Telltale and his staff. Calls go unanswered, suggestions unused, lunches unbought.
At first they were sooo excited about Snake Boxer 5 but now they say it's just a mini-game! I don't know exactly what that means, but I've got about 8 dozen low-density 5 1/4 inch diskettes that say it's actually a MEGA-game.
We were also informed that we have been taken off of working on the main game. Well, I think the attached hi-res render from our graphical engine should be enough to convince them that we have what it takes.
(Your yellow dog will NOT have spots. They kept crashing the game and made sparks fly out of our Compy.)
Graphically yours,
The Videlectrix Guys
Dear Strong,
Greetings from the best graphics in the world. We aren't sure where else to go with this issue so we thought we'd go straight to the source (files. HA!).
We've been having some serious problems with Mr. Telltale and his staff. Calls go unanswered, suggestions unused, lunches unbought.
At first they were sooo excited about Snake Boxer 5 but now they say it's just a mini-game! I don't know exactly what that means, but I've got about 8 dozen low-density 5 1/4 inch diskettes that say it's actually a MEGA-game.
We were also informed that we have been taken off of working on the main game. Well, I think the attached hi-res render from our graphical engine should be enough to convince them that we have what it takes.
(Your yellow dog will NOT have spots. They kept crashing the game and made sparks fly out of our Compy.)
Graphically yours,
The Videlectrix Guys
It has recently come to my attention that the Electronical Superface Ratings Boys (ESRB) have made us remove all the many head-offings that SBCG4AP was SUPPOSED to have in order to avoid an M for MATURE rating. Personally, I don't see what's wrong with a Mature title. That just means it has a mustache right? And mows its own lawn?
Anyway, since you people are being deprived of a buncha glorious noggin nixing, I figured I'd fill the void.
Anyway, since you people are being deprived of a buncha glorious noggin nixing, I figured I'd fill the void.
So Telltale's doing this contest where you're supposed to make a Mii that looks like me or Homestar or whoever and if you win you get a free copy of TurboTax or something. The good news is, they decided to let me in on the judging! Bring the lambs to the slaughter!
Oh, I'm sorry, you accidentally sent your Alice the Goon mii to Telltale Games instead of the makers of Popeye Kartz.
Nice artichoke.
If you squint real hard and walk 20 feet away from your computer, this kinda looks like me eating a live squid.
Oh, I'm sorry, you accidentally sent your Alice the Goon mii to Telltale Games instead of the makers of Popeye Kartz.
Nice artichoke.
If you squint real hard and walk 20 feet away from your computer, this kinda looks like me eating a live squid.
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Let's see, what are Bubs' most prominent features? Round head, blue face, one big eye. YEP! THEY'RE ALL HERE!! We have a WINNER! |
This is for all those craptakers out there who don't think I'm actually working on this game. "More like, Strong Bad's Crappy Game That He Totally Phoned in for an Attractive Oversized Novelty Check," they all say. Well that is a load of bunch! Telltale refused to give me an oversized novelty check or EVEN an oversized novelty toothbrush. And as for phoning it in? Just see for yourself below.
I'd say the engine is about 98% finished. I'm having some trouble with the fence physics or 'phensics' as they say in the gaming industry. If anybody knows the original programmers of Lemonade Stand, send em my way.
I'd say the engine is about 98% finished. I'm having some trouble with the fence physics or 'phensics' as they say in the gaming industry. If anybody knows the original programmers of Lemonade Stand, send em my way.
Ever since I was negative two years old, it's been my dream to have my own video game. And on the packaging for that video game, there would be a big yellow burst that would say "END BOSS FEATURE!" like all the great games from when I was a kid. Making a selling point out of one of the most basic elements of a video game is maybe the best marketing I've ever heard of.
But why stop at end bosses? There's no reason not to play up "JUMP BUTTON" or "PAUSE GAME FEATURE" or even "GRAPHICS HAVE!"
I would hereby like to suggest that Telltale start marketing all its games as utilizing the cutting edge GRAPHICS HAVE feature we've all been reading about.
And I think my game should come with little foil stickers that say GRAPHICS HAVE that you can stick on your eyeballs while you play the game to remind you of the graphics it has since you won't be able to see them since you'll have stickers on your eyes you dumb moron.
But why stop at end bosses? There's no reason not to play up "JUMP BUTTON" or "PAUSE GAME FEATURE" or even "GRAPHICS HAVE!"
I would hereby like to suggest that Telltale start marketing all its games as utilizing the cutting edge GRAPHICS HAVE feature we've all been reading about.
And I think my game should come with little foil stickers that say GRAPHICS HAVE that you can stick on your eyeballs while you play the game to remind you of the graphics it has since you won't be able to see them since you'll have stickers on your eyes you dumb moron.
This is total and complete bullstyle! Telltale has completely ignored all of the concept art that they asked me to send them. They shoulda called it "Yeah, Whatever Art" or "Pile on the Floor Under the Smelly Guy with the Glasses' Desk Amidst Several Months' Worth of Empty Cans of Bull Honkey Art." Ooh, in fact, I'm gonna request that I get that last credit somewhere in the game.
You tell me, which game would you rather play?
My game has robotic pants, shoulder hair, and mutated The Cheats in it! Theirs has regular pants, no shoulders, and mild-mannered, button-down The Cheat. HONK SHOOoooo!!!
That was me snoring.
Because I fell asleep.
From all the regular pants and disease-free The Cheats.
You tell me, which game would you rather play?
My game has robotic pants, shoulder hair, and mutated The Cheats in it! Theirs has regular pants, no shoulders, and mild-mannered, button-down The Cheat. HONK SHOOoooo!!!
That was me snoring.
Because I fell asleep.
From all the regular pants and disease-free The Cheats.
Did this giant-nosed young lady kill video games?
The red head above is, of course, Rhonda and the guy with the flat top and green tentacle bursting out of his chest is her famous uncle Harry. He's famous for stepping on alligators' heads and finding lost engagement rings deep in the jungle. I'm not sure who that silver french horn on the level below them is supposed to be.
They're from this game Pitfall 2: Balloons and Frogs!! And when you finally found Rhonda (and her quivering, upright walking, cowardly puma or whatever) waiting all sassy-like with her hands on her hips, the game would end. You win.
I remember being both completely flibber AND flabbergasted. Video games aren't supposed to END! They keep getting harder and faster and maybe the background color changes a little bit and they only END when mom comes downstairs and finally has to just unplug the joystick and let you sleep with it until the callouses get so bad that you need antibiotics for the infection but they taste so gross that the only way she'll get you to take them is to let you play more video games!!
What the crap was I talkin' about? Oh yeah. I hate the french horn.
The red head above is, of course, Rhonda and the guy with the flat top and green tentacle bursting out of his chest is her famous uncle Harry. He's famous for stepping on alligators' heads and finding lost engagement rings deep in the jungle. I'm not sure who that silver french horn on the level below them is supposed to be.
They're from this game Pitfall 2: Balloons and Frogs!! And when you finally found Rhonda (and her quivering, upright walking, cowardly puma or whatever) waiting all sassy-like with her hands on her hips, the game would end. You win.
I remember being both completely flibber AND flabbergasted. Video games aren't supposed to END! They keep getting harder and faster and maybe the background color changes a little bit and they only END when mom comes downstairs and finally has to just unplug the joystick and let you sleep with it until the callouses get so bad that you need antibiotics for the infection but they taste so gross that the only way she'll get you to take them is to let you play more video games!!
What the crap was I talkin' about? Oh yeah. I hate the french horn.
Everybody knows that the key to a successful video game is to have 5 to 12 video game company logos come up before the title screen. In fact, I bet if you collocated and extorpolated all the data from IGN.com, you'd see that the higher the number of logos before a game, the higher the review score.
You gotta have the developer, the publisher, the distributor, the interloper, the energy drink tie-in company, some cable network, the graphic blandishers, the hot dog cart guy that comes to the parking lot on Tuesdays, ALL represented with dynamic, animated logos that fade in, play some music, have some gross CG animal wearing pants dance around and then fade out. Oh, and make sure you can't skip through any of these by pressing START or anything. We wouldn't want you to forget all the cooks that were responsible for spoiling this pot.
I've gotten Telltale to agree to 23 logos so far, but they keep trying to talk me down. I may have to just move on and focus my efforts on the unrelated Videlectrix project: LogoQuest - Legend of the Lost Interest-Before-The- Game-Even-Starts!
You gotta have the developer, the publisher, the distributor, the interloper, the energy drink tie-in company, some cable network, the graphic blandishers, the hot dog cart guy that comes to the parking lot on Tuesdays, ALL represented with dynamic, animated logos that fade in, play some music, have some gross CG animal wearing pants dance around and then fade out. Oh, and make sure you can't skip through any of these by pressing START or anything. We wouldn't want you to forget all the cooks that were responsible for spoiling this pot.
I've gotten Telltale to agree to 23 logos so far, but they keep trying to talk me down. I may have to just move on and focus my efforts on the unrelated Videlectrix project: LogoQuest - Legend of the Lost Interest-Before-The- Game-Even-Starts!
Strong Bad explodes Homestar Runner's head with his new Protomite Eye Cannons only to discover he's full of Strawberry Quik in Telltale Games' new hack n' slash game for WiiWare.
Strong Bad attracts high class bikini ladies (or maybe Kate Pierson from the B-52's) with his ample hind-bosom in Telltale Games' new dating sim for WiiWare.
Strong Sad attempts to perform open heart surgery on his own dang self in Telltale Games' new whack-a-mole game for WiiWare.
Strong Bad rockets through the cosmos with his Protomite Foot Bootons and launches a heat-seeking 3-Stooges eye-poker missile and is totally not just standing on a stool in his computer room in Telltale Games' new Raise-Your- Own-Pony-and-Sell-it-to-the-Glue-Factory game for WiiWare.
I'm having a hard time wrapping my gorgeous brain around this whole 'digital distribution' thing. I look up SBCG4AP on all these gaming websites and they're like "Box art not available." So I asked some smelly Telltale about it and he was like "Blah blah blah no box. Bling bling bloo digital." I threw my coffee at his face.
So fine, I get it, no box art. It's only the coolest part of having your own videogame. But the real question is, if the game is all nebulous and floating around in the ether, then HOW is it going to have it's own A-B switch? Oh, you don't know what I'm talking about? Well take a look at my good friend MIG-29 Soviet Fighter for the NES.
No, no. Flip that shiny mess over.
That's right. There's a good chance this game might not work at all and they know it. Instead of fixing that problem, they stuck a SWITCH on the back of the cartridge so YOU get to fix it. I felt just like a video game programmer! That's all they do all day, flip switches back and forth from A to B, right? And smell like crabcakes?
So fine, I get it, no box art. It's only the coolest part of having your own videogame. But the real question is, if the game is all nebulous and floating around in the ether, then HOW is it going to have it's own A-B switch? Oh, you don't know what I'm talking about? Well take a look at my good friend MIG-29 Soviet Fighter for the NES.
No, no. Flip that shiny mess over.
That's right. There's a good chance this game might not work at all and they know it. Instead of fixing that problem, they stuck a SWITCH on the back of the cartridge so YOU get to fix it. I felt just like a video game programmer! That's all they do all day, flip switches back and forth from A to B, right? And smell like crabcakes?
Alright listen up, gamertypes! This is the place where I'm gonna be complaining about how these Telltales won't use any of my ideas. Mustard-gun peripheral for the Wii-mote? NIXED! That shaky blue/red, Rad Racer-style 3D that makes your headaches puke up smaller headaches? KAIBOSHED! The "flame cubicle" I wanted to install in the Telltale offices? SBLOUNSKCHED!!
Oh, and don't get me started on all my proposed titles they rejected. They scoffed at the genre-bender "Strong Bad: Sudoku Puzzmaster" and didn't have the guts to name the game "Strong Bad's 9.5 rating in Nintendo Power or ELSE Challenge '08." Hopefully the "mayonnaise cubicle" I installed while the Telltales were at lunch will get them to start properly respecting my style.
Oh, and don't get me started on all my proposed titles they rejected. They scoffed at the genre-bender "Strong Bad: Sudoku Puzzmaster" and didn't have the guts to name the game "Strong Bad's 9.5 rating in Nintendo Power or ELSE Challenge '08." Hopefully the "mayonnaise cubicle" I installed while the Telltales were at lunch will get them to start properly respecting my style.
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